I am a huge optimist..almost to a fault. I always believe everything will work out. I never get truly stressed because I just choose to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. I believe that this came from being raised LDS and always knowing that my Heavenly Father had a better plan for me than I could ever create for myself, I always knew He would be there for me, to love me, pick me up and show me the way. I was also raised by the most uplifting, loving and supportive parents in the world. They taught me that I can always come to them, trust them, and that I was a beautiful young lady who could do anything I set my mind too. I am teased among my family for my confidence. It may come off as cocky but it truly isn't from a place of ignorance, rather than a place for love. I love myself. I think I am beautiful, strong, caring, loyal, funny, and kind young lady. I don't just love my outer beauty but my inner beauty too. I always say "If I could be one thing I'd pick funny". I think that is my favorite thing about me, and it is one of the things that helps me be so optimistic. I try to make every situation a little bit better with a little bit of laughter.
I took this last year off from school and moved back home. I was trying to figure out where I wanted to go and what I wanted to be. I had always been confident I'd find my way but this year defiantly challenged that confidence. There were times I felt hopeless and convinced I'd never amount to anything. I had to many ideas, dreams and couldn't eliminate any of them. I was so overwhelmed by my indecisiveness that I thought I was doomed. When I had finally set my heart on pursuing photography and videography more seriously, things started to fall into place. Then came the struggle of where to go with this. If you know me you will know that I am OBSESSED with New York City. It has been my dream for a decade. This Spring I got to go there and visit with my parents to see if it was really something I wanted to pursue...It was! However, after much discussion and more prayer I have decided to go back to Logan Utah to be an aid in my sister's Elementary class. Random. I know. New York will just have to await a little bit longer. It was a good opportunity to serve others, and honestly sometimes that helps me better figure out my life. By being a help to my sister and focusing on helping these kids, I know I will have a clearer mind to figure out my life. It will be a better social life for me to be back in a college town, with kinds my age and in my same position. I am a bit of an introvert so it will challenge me to get out there.
Quick fill in...I went to Utah State University for one year back in 2013, took a year off to figure out life, and now going back to Utah. I will not be attending school this year but who knows maybe next year. Anyway, going back to Utah was not on my list of options this whole last year. It was actually on my list of "I don't want to's" I hadn't enjoyed my first year there so had automatically written it off. Then my sister offered me this job when I felt I was going to drown in "I don't knows". It was a little bit of a life saver. Though I had no intentions of going back the second she presented the idea it felt right. I don't quite know why, but maybe I'll find out later this year. I have been feeling good about this decision ever since then, which is huge for me. I have committed to 100 ideas but then backed out weeks later because it didn't feel right, but this one does.
So in order to make the best of my situation I have challenged myself to live outside my comfort zone this year. Do the things I naturally would be opposed to. I will be focusing a lot on perfecting my photography and videography skills and would love to work with the new people I will meet this year. I will also make a huge effort to really meet and befriend a lot of people this year. It's a great college town filled with wonderful people. I am excited for this experience. Hey if any of you reading this are in Logan.. hit me up.
As I have said I am a huge believer in being optimistic. So even though this was not what I had hoped for my future this fall I will do my best to make the best of it. I am young, I am beginning my twenties, prime time in socializing years, I am going to make the best of my new year.
I just wanted to write this little bit about me to, show to my readers that though I try to be as positive as I can be, and though I may photograph or video the most perfect moments of my life, I am still real. I make mistakes, I have flaws, insecurities and issues...but who doesn't? I am not creating this blog or my videos to compete or show that I am perfect. If you are following me to see my perfect hair, perfect outfits and perfect life, I apologize that is not what you'll get. I will show my flaws, my messy hair, I will share my trials and issues, but always with an uplifting positive twist to it. So please follow along and share my posts and videos because my photos and videos are so important to me no matter how lame, silly or pointless they may seem. I create them for me and those who are close to me. If you'd like me to create one for you or work with me please feel free to contact me. I believe life is beautiful and it will all work out, so follow along to see where it takes me.
with love, Madddsss
xoxo
see my videos here!!!
check me out on Instagram @MadddsssWorld
No comments:
Post a Comment